i see the dawn...

... of a new school year and a new semester approaching in about 14 hours. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited! No, not just because of the sheer boredom from this summer, but because another semester is about to get finished, and another step closer to growing up.

This summer was a pretty good one I must say. Despite the fact that I couldn't find a job, and I know that a lot of you can share my pain in that, it was actually a pretty eventful summer, full of God's awesomeness and lovely relaxation/recuperation from last semester. Resolved, reading the Bible, researching for grad school, Life School Musical, more reading, Norcal trip, more reading, and searching for jobs, it was all very wonderful. Most of all, this summer was awesome because it was sanctifying.

Last semester was just super draining. I was really burnt out at the end of the semester. It was truly only by God's grace that I even made it through, in more ways than one (grades, other stuff, etc etc). My feeding of the Word was pretty on and off, and it was pretty frustrating, especially I knew that my heart was getting more calloused. My tiredness from school and church just added on to that frustration. I was really in need of a huge break, which God so graciously provided at the right time. :]

Although the start of the summer was kind of a rough ride because I was still struggling (like Paul in Romans 7), God used that to teach me that I needed to fully rely on the Spirit and the Word to convict me, and not my own fleshly efforts. I think God really broke my pride in wanting to rely on myself and my own merits in order to love Him and know Him. What a fool I was to think that I could teach myself about a God that I barely know? Ridiculous! Right?

To borrow from Owen, "Notwithstanding all our confidence of high attainments, all our notions of God are but childish with regard to His infinite perfections."

"This is the first work of the Spirit to bring about mortification. He convinces the soul of all its evil. He cuts of all of lust's pleadings, uncovers all of its deceits, stops all of its evasions, and answers its self-justifications. He makes the soul to confess the abomination of its sin, and to be cast down under the guilt of it. Unless this is done, all that follows is in vain."

I really took my sins for granted. I took my Savior for granted. I took my God for granted. What foolish vain efforts!

God seriously blessed me with much needed fellowship, and He graced me with the God-given knowledge that I needed for me to realize that what I needed was Himself and not necessarily and only for my walk to be perfect. God seriously used that to realign me this summer, and get me back on track with my relationship with Him. He is seriously gracious to those who are broken. Powerful is the cross of Christ that allows for such things! Praise God!

Oh how I need to be at Jesus' feet coming to Him like a child! Just as it was taught in Sunday School this morning,

Matthew 19:14 [but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."]

Truly, in only a child-like faith in Christ comes true knowledge, peace and fellowship with God.

Having that renewed mindset, it really gets me geared up for the start of the school year! I'm so glad that God is so gracious to sinners. Now, I can go through the semester hopefully, and Lord-willingly with much joy and satisfaction, knowing that no matter what comes my way, I will be fine because I have God by my side. Although this coming semester seems to be quite a daunting task ahead with school, work, and church, I have absolute faith in God that no matter what happens, will be for my sanctification, and ultimately for God's glory. The Spirit will be there to guide me, as long as I stay humble and keep trusting in God.

LET'S DO THIS! FALL SEMESTER HERE I COME! :]

___________________

Oh yeah! Praise God also because after a whole summer of not being able to find a job, and getting a little discouraged, I FINALLY GOT HIRED! Yay for His goodness!