It wasn't until about 7th grade that God brought a trial into my life that made it clear that I didn’t truly know God at all. Just before my thirteenth birthday, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I remember the day that I found out. My dad called my house, which was extremely odd because he almost never calls. He basically broke the news to me, and I remember immediately thinking that my mom was going to die. I sat there crying and feeling hopeless in not knowing what to do with my life once my mom was gone. Fear struck my heart, and I did not what I would do. I was totally exposed to my weakness, and my inability to control my life no matter how hard I tried.
Although I was hopeless, it was clear that my mom was far from hopeless. It was during that time that I noticed something different about my mother. It was so obvious that she loved the Lord and was steadfast in her faith. It amazed me to see the amount of faithfulness and strength she had from the Lord to keep enduring and persevering, even though she was in pain. God used my mother to show me that God was indeed a very real Person and that He wasn’t just an idea. Instead of believing that God didn’t have anything to do with me, I realized that God had absolutely everything to do with me. By God’s grace, He revealed to me that I was just a mere creature who was fully dependent on Him.
God revealed the futility and the ignorance of my thinking. I was indeed a fool to believe that I could dictate my life. Upon realizing that, all of the knowledge that I had gained growing up at church came flooding back into my brain, and hit my heart. For the first time, I realized that I was a sinner in need of God’s grace. For the first time, I realized that God did indeed demonstrate His love for us, that while we were still yet sinners, Christ died for us. I realized that Christ bore all of the wrath that was meant for me on the cross. Now I know why there is a picture of a cross in between the gap of the bridge illustration. It’s because only Christ is sufficient for the means of salvation, for a right relationship with my God. How merciful is our Lord that He would save a foolish sinner like me!
About a year later, I was baptized and publicly proclaimed my identity with Christ and officially recommitted my life to Christ here at CCAC. As the years have gone by, the Lord continued to teach me and humble me much throughout my high school years.
As senior year rolled around, I started getting really excited for college. I had seen so many people moving out and going off to college, and I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to get out into the world, and be independent. Even though I knew I would be staying home for college, I still wanted to at least do something on my own, which left me with church. I thought that I would feel more grown up if I started going to another church. I didn’t really talk about it a lot, but the idea lingered in the back of my mind through my senior year of high school and into freshman year. I was really struggling whether to stay or go. I was torn because CCAC was my home, and I didn’t know where I’d go. On the other hand, I wanted to explore other churches.
When I started attending college group, I felt really uncomfortable, because it was extremely different than Branching Out or Mustard Seed. It wasn’t long before I tried finding excuses for me to leave. However, by the Lord’s impeccable sovereignty, I realized how extremely selfish I was in my desire. It was so obvious that I didn’t realize how good I had it at CCAC. I realized that there is not going to be another church like CCAC. I’ve never heard of another church that loved the Lord, loved the Bible, and loved one another so much. I felt so foolish to even conceive of the idea of leaving. With that thought, I’ve decided wholeheartedly to become a member.
I’m so thankful for so many things here at CCAC. I can’t possibly stand here and list them all without exceeding my time up here. But to name a few things, I’m so thankful for the founders of CCAC, all of the wonderful pastors that we’ve had over the years, all of the godly men that lead this church, and all of the people that I’ve come to know and love here at this church. Ultimately I am extremely thankful to the Lord for saving me and placing me here at CCAC.
I know that I am extremely inadequate to contribute anything, for my deeds are like filthy rags, but I know that as long as I have Christ as my steadfast anchor, I will be able to do what God has called me to do.
Ephesians 2:8-10 says,
[For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.]
Thank you CCAC, for having me here. Even though I still have so much to learn, I will do my best to love and serve the Lord, and to be committed to building up the church.
Thank you for reading if you stuck with it all the way through. :]
The Lord is awesome. I hope you all have good weeks! :D
::edit::
Here's the audio version of my testimony:
http://www.ccac.ws/sermons/Testimony_Samantha_Li.mp3Please don't mind my gross voice. hahaha
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